Typing on a tear-covered keyboard following one of the hardest & truly sad days I’ve ever had. We had to put our 16 year-old Tanner to sleep late this morning. I went upstairs afterwards to find my 45 yr-old self sobbing in the fetal position. I seem to recall only one instance in my life where I may have been more sad, the day my great-grandfather, Armin passed back when I was a young teen.
Tanman was the best, most favorite dog I’ve ever owned (I’ve had a bunch over the years!). As crazed & neurotic as he was, he was the sweetest, kindest dog one could ever have. His spirit was forever uplifting with loads of great personality. ‘Pizza Fridays’ just won’t be the same not having him there beside our other dog Shadow begging for the crusts! 😦
Tan somehow tore his rear leg’s ACL many weeks ago. We tried absolutely everything we could short of surgery, as it wasn’t an option due to his age. Acupuncture, laser-heat therapy, the full standard regimen of drugs including steroids, and nothing really helped. He was in such agonizing pain with diminished quality of life, Jeanie & I feel we did the right thing, as damn hard as it was. The decision made was so excruciatingly hard in that he was so perfectly healthy still in every other way! We so hoped that he would tell us in his own way he was ready to go, but he was a very willful stubborn fighter not giving up till the bitter end!
Every since my stroke many things in my life are so much more poignant with much more strong emotions felt. I recall my sister, Dee & my step-mom, Sally saying they can tear up in a greeting card store, well, I’m maybe not THAT bad ;-), but certainly do notice a big change post-stroke, and hear it’s quite normal.
Now begins the grieving & healing process, recalling special memories & times we had of the crazy, so special of a dog he was. I published a small album of photos up here: https://onedrive.live.com/redir?resid=1E7A630A70BE6131!702532&authkey=!AIEiuSjeIDoSWCc&ithint=folder%2cjpg
Below is probably one of my favorite all-time photos of him one of us took out camping in the early days of Jeanie & my relationship. Here I see the ages-old wolf lineage in him. I love the sun shining behind him, and today I see the photo telling me it was nearly the sunrise of his very happy full life. Nature took its course this morning and I was happy I could be there for the very sunset as well.
RIP our beloved Tanman.